Be the change you want to see in the world

I feel like I have been avoiding the computer like the plague lately…why? To forstall writing this blog perhaps, who knows, I don’t. I know I am still mulling things over and I think feeling a tad guilty, for not enjoying the entire trip, not quite sure what to make of it yet. It was certainly not as anticipated, although, again, I’m not sure what I anticipated, but I know that what ever it was that I went looking for, or trying to do, I don’t feel I accomplished it in the least, except perhaps with the visits to my ‘kids‘. So many people supported me, with the dolls, and in other ways, that I think a lot of the guilt comes from feeling I wasted everyone’s money by not being able to accomplish something. I don’t believe it was the fault of the programs I signed up for; I think maybe it was more that I should have stayed in one place for the duration. At the end of 2 weeks I was just starting to feel I was getting the hang of the programs and understand them to some extent. Being long range programs, it was hard to feel that you made any impact in the sort term. That would be my fault, me wanting to see and do as much as possible, do as many programs as possible, not understanding that it would take longer than 2 weeks to feel or see any difference. I should have known, having been to the World Vision projects that you don’t see change overnight, but I think I was hoping to make a bit more of an impact in those, oh so short, weeks. Of course running on ‘African time’ did not help. What is African time, you ask? Well, let’s take the Old Folks Home for instance. You would arrive at 9am to start whatever was planned for the day, then sit and wait for perhaps an hour or more for the folks to arrive from their sleeping areas, have their so called breakfast (more on that another time) then have to wait awhile longer for things to be organized, then you would leave at approximately 11am. Not much time to ‘DO’ anything. Lions? Well they are a very lazy creature. Go down to the enclosures at 8am, wait for the scouts to go out and make sure there are no wild elephants or anything about, perhaps 15 to 20 minutes. Then the cubs are released in their groups and you walk with them to the appointed spots to await the ‘guests’ to arrive from the Boma. Then the guides tell the guests about the lions, and the project etc., lots of picture taking and such, then, we’re off, for a walk of maybe 10 minutes. The lions would then flop down in the shade, because their hot and, as I said, lazy. Another talk about the cubs to the guests, more pictures, another 10 minute walk, rest and then back to the enclosure. You get the drift, lots of waiting around, learning patience, if you haven’t already. For the most part, everything felt like a monumental waste of time, when we could be ‘doing something’. Things work different in Africa. Patience, patience and more patience. So, here’s to being able to write with a clearer head, now that I have this off my chest.